


All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew

by risky_cough



Category: Boardwalk Empire
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Jealousy, M/M, season 4-ish, the bright side is for once Eli isn't crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risky_cough/pseuds/risky_cough
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny felt tingly and not in a good way. He didn't know what he wanted to do when he drove here, but he was gonna do something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew

Through the dried water spots and dust of the windshield, he could see their front door. He parked the car across the street and back a ways not to arouse suspicion. He checked his watch and then turned his gaze toward the window. The sun's glare and the porch column made it a bit difficult to see into it from the car, but he could still make a few things out. Movement. Happy movement. Probably the whole family happily eating breakfast on this happy day where everything is so very happy. The movement slowly faded from view and, soon enough, the front door swung open. The kids trampled down the steps in a rush to wherever - school most likely. He saw Eli step out and put on his hat. The wife came after him and turned him towards her. They kissed and Benny wanted to put his fist through the dashboard. Eli got into his car and drove off in the other direction to whatever fake job his brother got him at. 

Benny felt tingly and not in a good way. He didn't know what he wanted to do when he drove here, but he was gonna do something. He waited first though to make sure the Missus ain't expectin' company soon, but the time gave the added benefit of letting his stomach settle. It's hard to be intimidating when the first words outta your mouth are an egg salad sandwich and three candy bars. Benny forced his door open and exited the car. After taking a good look around, he marched toward that front door. He knocked on it - louder than he intended to.

The woman was all smiles when she opened the door. Benny could not for the life of him remember what he said, but he was escorted inside to the dining room and offered tea. Or was it coffee? The woman went off to the kitchen to bring out the tray. He smiled while taking everything in but there was no warmth behind it. There was a photo album set aside on a nearby table. Benny could imagine what was in there: happy people being happy and many pictures of Eli looking so very lovey-dovey at his wifey. There was that anger again - simmering in the pit of his stomach. No pictures of what Eli does when wifey ain't around though. Maybe he could take some and stick 'em in there for wifey to find. Maybe then wifey won't be so lovey-dovey. 

She came back with that tray. Seeing her doing something so domestic, so loving just made it worse. She set down the tray and began pouring some coffee into a cup. Without batting an eyelash, Benny looked straight at her. "I'm fucking your husband. I take his hard cock in my ass. I've been doing it for months and once he sucked me off in an alleyway."

June stopped pouring and set down the pot. That smile became less sure. Did she feel sick when she heard this? Good. She had better. Pulling out a chair, she sat down. Benny was practically beaming. He was ready for a fight. He was ready for anything – rage, denial, disgust. He was ready for anything but her meeting his gaze with sympathy. Anything but her holding his hand and stroking the back of it with her thumb. Anything but her pulling him into a loose hug and whispering, "I know and it's okay."

He scrambled out of her grasp and ran toward his car. A series of multilingual expletives raced through his head and all cursing Eli's name. He hurried in and started the ignition. He shifted gears but then quickly opened the door and retched onto the curb. The drive back to the motel was almost automatic. Benny ignored how labored his breathing had become during the ride. Making his way toward his room, he noticed how blurry his vision suddenly was; how wet his cheeks were. Fuckin' Eli. He was pouring himself a drink when the phone rang. Only one person had this number. He downed the alcohol and tossed the empty glass at the phone. It shattered spraying broken glass and bits of phone around the bedside table.

"Fuck this shit. New York's better." 

Benny made up his mind and began packing.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Amy Winehouse's "Tears Dry on Their Own."
> 
> The fic takes place somewhere towards the end of season 4/the missing years before season 5.
> 
> I don't even know. I think I'm just matching up Team AC with Team NY because I can.


End file.
